The (blunt and) Only Fashion Rule That Actually Matters
I’m no fashion mogul, and I don’t have a degree or really any experience in design. What qualifies me to write a post about fashion? You’ll see.
It starts here though: I took a trip to Europe recently, and as one does, I posted lots of pictures on Instagram. Several people commented on how on point my outfits were. This both flattered me and confused me. Flattery because everyone likes being told they look fabulous. Confusion because this was the first time I was consistently complimented on my fashion in… yeah, ever. It got me thinking.
I’m going to let you in on a conversation I had when I was about 19:
Me: wore white pants in late September
Person: “You can’t wear white after Labor Day.”
Me: “Uh… what? Why not?”
Person: “Because you just can’t. White isn’t a fall color. It’s a fashion rule.”
Me: “Oh, ok.” (And I didn’t wear white after Labor Day for years).
Bless younger us, am I right? We just don’t have a clue who we are when we’re 19. Really, ever, but that’s another writing.
Today’s Me: Let me tell you what you can’t wear after Labor Day — made-up rules that make no sense. WHO CARES? Also, I lived in Florida at the time. There is no fall in Florida. It’s summer 364 days a year. (I’ll leave one day out, in case it happens to get chilly).
Here’s my fashion rule and the only one that matters: WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT!
Do you feel good in that outfit? Does is represent who you are and/or how you feel about yourself? How about this one: are you comfortable it in? Or is the discomfort worth how fabulous you look? (because sometimes it is!) Does your top, bottom, shoes and accessories have to match? Why? Wear the floral and stripes in the same outfit. No one will have a heart attack from you mixing patterns. Do you like the big bold necklace and the statement earrings? Ok then. Wear them! Wear the crazy shoes with the colorful headband and the bold printed T. I’m serious. How many people have to approve of you looking good before you’ll wear that outfit? When will your own approval and joy and satisfaction be enough?
And maybe ask yourself why you get dressed in the first place. Is it because nudity is socially inappropriate? Fair reason. But if it’s also a way to express yourself or have fun or be creative, then DO THOSE THINGS. Be those things!
Like I said, I’m no fashionista, but I’m just saying… fashion pioneers and icons across the world agree with my rule. They understand that this free self-expression is what makes them so incredibly accomplished. Successful fashion designers design and wear from their heart and out of their creativity. They use clothing as a vehicle to share themselves with the world around them. They get that it’s about the person, not the fabric. If we all wore clothes that were born out of our creativity and genuine personal liking, I think a few things would shift culturally:
1. Our world would be WAY more fun (and probably colorful) to look at
2. We’d likely save time getting ready in the mornings
3. We’d free ourselves from others’ opinions and allow ourselves to truly self-express!
Now, in order for this to work, I need one to say more thing. You, who comments on that girl who is wearing blue lipstick, big hoops and jeans with holes because you think she is “trying too hard”. Ain’t none of your business unless you’re celebrating her courage. You, who makes fun of the guy on the beach who you think needs to keep his shirt on. Sit down.
We gain nothing from tearing others down. In fact, we actually make it harder for ourselves to self-express because we perceive others will think and say the same about us. I get it. We’ve all been there. But if we’re honest, it always has WAY more to do with our insecurity than their outfit. So force yourself to celebrate them, compliment them and draw courage from them.
I like to think I’ve proven that my rule is legitimate by now, but in case you’re still on the fence about adopting “WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT” as your fashion boss, I’ve brought in these reinforcements:
- “Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.” — Rachel Zoe
- “I always find beauty in things that are odd and imperfect, they are much more interesting.” — Marc Jacobs
- “Don’t be into trends. Don’t make fashion own you, but you decide what you are, what you want to express by the way you dress and the way you live.” — Gianni Versace
- “Clothes mean nothing until someone lives in them.” — Marc Jacobs
And with my commentary:
- “I don’t do fashion. I am fashion.” — Coco Chanel (Girl, WERK! [with a finger snap!] This is owning who you are through what’s on your body!)
- “I want people to see the dress, but focus on the woman.” — Vera Wang (Because who is behind the clothes is WAY more important!)
- “I don’t design clothes. I design dreams.” — Ralph Lauren (Yes and amen! Clothes just carry us as we’re on our way to our dreams. They aren’t the destination.)
So y’all, BE YOU. Be your full and free self. WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT, and enjoy the freedom and joy that comes from it! It’ll be a ripple affect for gaining freedom in other areas of your life, too, I assure you!
